New Hire

When Herschel "Hurricane" Jenkins does a job, he does it right...the first time. The bitch ass parade coordinator didn't know that though.

"Ummmm...Hurricane, you're not done setting up the chairs, are you?"

"Yeah. Where ma foty ounce at?"

"Uhhhhh...they're all messed up, Hurricane. And there's debris all over the place."

"I know you ain't trippin. I said where ma foty at!"

"Hurricane, I already explained that I can't pay you in liquor. Hey, where's my assistant you had to work with?"

"That muthafucka got stabbed."

"Oh, okay......wait, what do you mean 'stabbed'?"

The Next Big Thing? Maybe.

Since Black Tuesday, the great Wall Street Crash of 1929, investors and market speculators have been carefully analyzing research data, crunching numbers, and monitoring consumer habits. They're watching like hawks for the next "it" product to jumpstart the American economy back into the global marketplace. And they might have just found it.
Hoshi Kazu is the inventor of (what translates in English to) the "woman's legs pillow." He agreed to participate in this short interview with us, via email:

Wildmans High: How did you come up with the idea for the pillow?
Kazu: It make a pillow with a legs. Maybe you can like it!

WH: What type of reactions to your product have you seen so far?
K: I like rest on it. Some time you can have a nap.

WH: What kind of impact do you think this will have on the global market?
K: A leg is for a pillow I think. To make you have a sleep is to be comforting you.

WH: Have the offers you've received exceeded your expectations?
K: You put his face on sleeping pillow? He is having time with womans legs. It has make him tired!

WH: Where do you see this product in 10 years?
K: Haha. You are like old Japan proverb! He say "A man who has no dragon, he can go to heaven. But if a man give an elderly golds, he can have many fine treasure."

WH: Thank you for your time. Is there anything you would like to add?
K: I like seeing womans and for touching them!

A note from our radical jihad readers

"fuck you all you fucking bastard on this website.. you want to spoil the reputation of islam by hiring those shit face girls....... your the shit and the most fucking and idiot assholes

and, also kindly

israel fuck you bastared"

Ruben's Party

The following is an actual, time-line account of Ruben's office party last week.


9:21pm- Guests begin to arrive. Sam and Karen show up together. Karen already seems a little wasted. Sam confides to Ruben that he expects to finally get laid that night.


9:38pm- The creepy new guy from accounting walks in alone. Ruben knows neither the man's name, nor how he heard about the party. Ruben shakes his hand and says, "hey, man." The new guy says nothing.


9:57pm- A few groups of Ruben's friends show up, and the party is underway. Snacks, jungle juice, and beer are passed around. Spurts of laughter and lots of chatting tell Ruben the night is off to a great start.


10:14- Ruben realizes the office hotties are at his party. He hopes to talk to them later.


10:30- Loretta arrives. She's a very sweet woman with a severe hormonal imbalance. Everyone at work is extremely careful to treat her with dignity and respect- just like another one of the gals. Ruben knows Loretta has had a crush on him for months. He is not happy she came to the party.


10:43- Loretta gabs with her friend Susan. During the conversation, she repeatedly asks, "Is Ruben looking over here? ...What about now? ...now?"


11:22pm- After 4 shots of Captain, Loretta is fairly drunk. She decides to take her shoes off, and sit spread-eagle style next to the creepy new guy. She hopes sitting close to him will make Ruben jealous. Instead, Ruben is very embarassed, as everyone knows what's going on.


11:56pm- Loretta produces a cigar from her bra. She is now completely tanked, and making overtly sexual gestures at Ruben from across the room.


12:20- Fed up, Ruben enlists the help of Sandra, the office bitch. With an old pair of novelty handcuffs, Sandra chains Loretta to a radiator in the basement until morning.