Friday, December 5, 2008

Malik's Bad Idea



When Malik gets high, he gets fucking HIGH, okay.

Since he was just a boy, Malik had dreamed of attending a live meeting of the United Nations in his homeland of Ghana. Finally, he had made it.

He hadn't smoked what he referred to as "giggle bush" since college, when he studied World Affairs at the University. It had always led to embarrassment for Malik, although he thoroughly enjoyed the euphoric sensation it would give him.

When he saw two prominent statesmen who represented the Republic of Ghana, incospicuously mulling around a truck loading area outside the convention, Malik saw an opportunity to express his admiration and shake hands.

He thought it might seem disrespectful to decline their offer of some "fine Ghana smoke," so he took a few tokes from their poorly rolled joint.

The next 15 minutes were a blur. But somehow Malik bullshitted his way backstage with his new friends, and was hobnobbing with international political figures he had only read about and seen on tv.

Since he had shaved his goatee the previous Summer, Malik had been told a few times that he mildly resembled the Prince of Umbassa, so he decided to have a little fun and pretend to be royalty for the day.

When Malik finally stepped up to the podium after much coaxing from several world leaders, he realized he was WAY too high for this.
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